One of the most exciting aspects of being engaged is experiencing all of the special events leading up to the wedding. Among your fondest memories will be those of your showers; however, don’t indulge in too much of a good thing. Cindy Grosso, who operates Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette, reminds us that while “etiquette never obligates, it suggests.” Follow these tried-and-true recommendations and earn everyone’s respect.
Know When to Say When:
Limit yourself to two bridal showers. “There will be other occasions, such as an engagement party and a bachelorette party, when you can gather with well-wishers and friends,” says Grosso. “After all,” she explains, “the whole purpose is to ‘shower’ the couple with gifts,” and you don’t want to appear greedy.
Bow Out Gracefully:
If numerous people offer to host showers, thank them and inquire if they might be willing to cohost a shower with others. “Suggesting that a person cohost is the proper and gracious way to address this situation,” Grosso says.
Guests From Afar:
Should you invite out-of-town guests to showers, even when you’re fairly sure they’ll be unable to attend? “Certainly,” Grosso says, “because although your intentions are good by not inviting them, it’s much better to give them the choice than to snub them.”
Don’t Double Up:
Etiquette suggests it’s never thoughtful to invite someone to more than one shower. “However, there are exceptions: family members and perhaps bridesmaids,” Grosso says.
A well-crafted thank-you note to the hostess is sufficient when you’ve been given a shower. “Although not expected, it is an especially gracious touch to send the hostess flowers afterwards, or perhaps take her to lunch to express your gratitude,” says Grosso.